I was Blind
Now I See


Just weeks before receiving payment for a lucrative million-dollar business deal, Stevens Chan was struck with an unexpected diagnosis. Told by doctors that glaucoma would gradually rob him of his sight, for life, Stevens life spiralled downwards toward depression, helplessness and fear of the unknown.

As Stevens and Kaye grappled with these challenges, they discovered the amazing grace of a loving God. Through faith and trust in God as well as the special people who have walked into their lives, Stevens and Kaye have risen above their own struggles to reach out and bring hope to many others who share the same predicament. They have raised awareness through the Dialogue in the Dark programme, advocated for use of guide dogs for the blind and equal opportunities for the disabled.

This book tells of their miraculous journey from fear to trust. From darkness to light. From physical blindness to spiritual sight.

As you read this book, may you find hope that God can use anyone, despite our weaknesses, sickness or disabilities to bring hope to others and to give glory to God.

-Shireen Sudhakaran

This is a book that is sincere and touching without the use of overly flowery words. As I read, I could almost feel myself living the story, picturing myself in various scenes of the plot. Even before I finished it, I was already relating several of the characters to people in my life; people whom I would really wish to share this book with.

The book is occasionally interspersed with memories of Stevens and his wife Kaye who have gone through the same ordeal. It is an eye opening book which allows us to immersed ourselves into the characters’ lives and experience things the way they do and the hardships they endured. Many a time I was brought to tears , so much so that I had to stop myself halfway just to compose my emotions.

I am very grateful to Brother Stevens for thinking of me, and allowing me to read this great book in advance and to write down my feelings after reading it. If we are all travellers in this world, that will make Stevens and Kaye the greatest adventurers of all. They are like the moonlight in an ancient city, gently illuminating others with their life. This book contains many stories about the difficulties they encountered and the stories of the challenges they faced , but yet through it all they still find the time to stop and help others who are in need.

Through their stories, I can sense their persistence and courage.

And I for my part, with the reminder of what this book has brought to me, will bravely move forward, hoping to live out the mission of God in my life.

Samantha Cheah Pei Wen
Deputy Head of Graphic Design Department, Dasein Academy of Art
Creative Director of The Kern Design

A beautiful and heartwarming testimony of Stevens and Kaye.

It’s about the love, compassion and mercy of God, our Father.

Stevens has courageously brushed aside tremendous physical and financial challenges to pursue his mission in life.

As a member of the visually challenged community, he shares the aspirations and despair of the blind and vision-impaired.

He has championed project after project to raise faith and hope in a better tomorrow, among the blind and sight-disadvantaged.

Though he is physically blind, he is definitely not spiritually blind.

His beloved wife Kaye is very supportive of his mission.

May this wonderful partnership bring them to the next level of their divine destiny.

May the blind and visually impaired be inspired by Stevens and Kaye.

Personally I am so moved by their courage and determination to help others despite their own difficulties.

May the Lord continue to bless this dedicated couple and provide for them in all ways: physically, financially, emotionally, and spiritually.

Carry on your good works, Brother Stevens and Sister Kaye!


Dr Peggy C Wong
Founder and Chairman
Living Hope

Stevens and I became acquainted at a kingdom enterprise workshop. As we are both dreamers for God, who always having this holy discontent that drives us to pursuit community transformation, we became friends naturally.

Every time when I meet Stevens and Kaye, I’ll get to listen to their amazing testimonies of God’s intervention in their life. They are truly ordinary people with extraordinary lives. When I finished reading this book: “I was blind now I see”, I confirmed the fact that they do have an extraordinary life, because they believe a God who is extraordinary and wonderful. This couple experienced miracles and wonders, because of God’s divine presence and intervention.

I must admit that they are “martyrs” of God’s kingdom. Their strong and tough spirit is just like a common Chinese saying, “the undying cockroach”. This couple proved to people that there is nothing too difficult to accomplish to those who have the will to do it. Their stories testify that our Lord Jesus is a living God. Because He live, Stevens and Kaye can face tomorrow…Because Jesus is the Light and the Way Maker, Stevens was blind but now can see. Praise to be the Lord!

Rev Andrew Wong
CEO and founder of HISTEAM

I first met Stevens and Kaye in 2016 and after the first meeting, I walked away inspired not just by what they are doing or championing, but by the simple fact that they expressed joy in just ‘being’ and celebrating life as it is. In reading this book, I have a much deeper sense of appreciation of the journey that they have taken and how faith and trust in God has been the bedrock in their journey. In a world where darkness sometimes seem overwhelming, Stevens bears testimony that light does indeed shine in the darkness. His lifesong to walk by faith and not by sight is an incredible testimony to the sufficient grace of God, and his unyielding trust is a demonstration of God’s authority, purpose and intentionality which is a gift to a world stumbling around in darkness.

Philip Ling
-Church Elder
Puchong Gospel Chapel
-Head of Sustainability
Digi Telecommunications

This book brought Stevens and Kaye’s extraordinary story, their challenges, joys and exuberance to the readers. I could feel their disappointments, pain and hopelessness in some parts, but what shone through was how strongly Stevens and Kaye loved each other through their ups and downs. Tau Fei’s rich illustrations of the key moments in the book also heightens the poignancy of the many meaningful occasions in Stevens’ and Kaye’s life.

This book tells the amazing story of a man used by God through his frailties. His wife and the many faithful friends who surrounded him contributed to the richness not only in his own life, but also the richness and hope he brought into others’ lives. Having known Stevens and Kaye personally, I can only say that they are both people of humility. They have blessed the poor through our collaborative medical camps while I was with CES. I can vouch for how much their faith and resilience inspire me and others in social-community work to press on. May you find love, joy, peace and hope through these honest pages.

Margaret Loy
Community Transformation Initiative Bhd.



If your life is a movie and you are the hero in your own movie, whatstory do you tell?

This provocative question is at the core of the inspiring book ‘MyResilience Recipe’ by Stevens Chan, a self-seeking businessman who losthis eyesight, wealth, self-worth, and emerges from the rock bottom toserve the disabled community through social activism.

In this book, Stevens shares his past mistakes, experiences, thoughtsand dives into what it takes to be resilient when life presents him withtough challenges. Make no mistake, this is not a self-help book. Stevenslays out his own ‘resilience recipe’ as a reference in the hope toinspire you to develop your own recipe based on your unique lifecircumstances.

If you feel that life is a constant challenge, or you’re stuck in adifficult situation not knowing how tomove forward, this is the bookthat can shine a light for you.

-Shireen Sudhakaran

Stevens Chan has demonstrated his resilience through the trials and tribulations he has encountered throughout his life. Coming from a poor family, his parents did their best to give him the best education possible. During his teens, his mother passed away. His started multiple businesses to drive his burning ambition to be rich and powerful. After 20 years of sacrifice and on the eve of becoming a millionaire, he discovered that he was gradually losinghis sight due to glaucoma. Within 5 years, at the age of 45, he became totally blind. To fund his medical treatment and livelihood, he used up his savings and closed his businesses. He lost his self-esteem, got angry with himself and his wife, and experienced years ofpain, guilt, and depression. He survived a massive heart attack in 2019.

Yet in the midst of these setbacks, with the unwavering support and unconditional love from his wife of 25 years, Stevens has transformed himself into a dedicated social worker, social activist, and social entrepreneur. He has helped the lives of the visually impaired and the underprivileged. He even found time to train and completed the 2011 Kuala Lumpur Half-Marathon in 5 hours as a blind athlete.

Resilience is his passport to a richer life. His self-acceptance, inner peace, and love for God, himself, his wife, family, friends, and others in the community are important ingredients of resilience. It was resilience that enabled him to claw back from the depths of despair.

I liked his message of Resilience. Of how his mentor managed to get awarded the licence for a new initiative after 6 years of almost daily lobbying to the authorities.The lesson is to never give up on a goal and stay on course no matter how hard it gets.

His struggles through life and how he overcame his setbacks are inspiring to many people. His wife’s patience, perseverance, and support throughout helped him find a new purposeand vision. One that he can see in his mind’s eye even more clearly than before.

I highly recommend this book for couples who have encountered a rough patch in their relationships, ambitious businesspeople, and the ordinary folks who go about their lives unaware of the struggles of the visually impaired in navigating the environment and integrating into society.

Review by Jih Min Cheng
Co-author, Put The Magic Back Into Your Business

Imagine a lifetime of accumulating, investing and building security. Then, all of a sudden they slip away into a deep abyss; pitch darkness with no light, no hope to emerge from that deep black hole.

My Resilience Recipe is authored by one who passionately relates his journey of rising up from desperate hopelessness to rebuilding, recreating and reimagining a new future. It is a courageous tale of taking back the power, blessed by the grace of God, supported by undying love.

Reading this book has been a heart-warming experience that has inspired me to do the same; to stop blaming circumstances but reimagine, recreate in synergy with like-minded folks to leave this world a much better place.

Rita Goh
ARTDO International 2019/2020

My dear friend and ‘big brother’ Stevens Chan has written a wonderful cook book about life for all of us. In this book, the main dish is resilience and he has written it with wit, wisdom, compassion and love. His recipe for resilience is one that is spiced by a life of great personal challenges grounded on the secret ingredients of empathy and the caring for others. Do not attempt to cook the dish all by yourself though, for life is a dish best prepared together with the people we love and who perhaps loves us more.

-Assoc Prof Dr Foo Yin Fah
Associate Head of School of Social Sciences and Edinburgh Business Schoolt
Heriot-Watt University

A moment in silence, speechless and left with an indelible imprint of what I have just read. My good friend and brother, Stevens Chan, has finished his new book “MY RESILIENCE RECIPE”. He reveals what a person can accomplish given the clarity of what he needs to do. By faith and not by might, he tells me. To the glory of God, this book is set to inspire and move its readers to persevere and stay focused to complete the journey till its end. Resilience?Pride? Or sheer stubbornness? You read and you decide. If you are stuck somewhere and wondering how to move forward, this is the book that might just be the guiding light for you.

Robbin Khoo
– President
iAuthors Club Malaysia

Indeed, an inspiring book from a VIP (Visually Impaired Person). Mr Stevens Chan however never felt impaired, never handicapped, never disadvantaged. Emotional moments in despair? Yes, he went through those moments but only to bounce back with a ferocity that broke chains. I am truly moved to see the persona in this author, a selfless person who expended tirelessly to complete and release this life-inspiring book “MY RESILIENCE RECIPE” just so that others might continue their personal uphill battles, to be resilient despite the odds, and that giving up shall never be an option. Well done and thank you, Stevens!

Ho Chin Soon
– Founder
iAuthors Club Malaysia

“Stevens doesn’t just share from his heart, he shares with his life and through the lens of his experiences. My first meet up with him became a Catalyst for my involvement with Social Entrepreneurs. Allow this book to challenge where you are at, as you rethink your life priorities toward your resilient future.”

Mel Leow
Global Leadership and Life Coach
Author of ENGAGE

It was more than 8 years ago when I went to my colleague Daniela Dimitrova’s office for a conference call with a gentleman called Stevens Chan Kum Fai from KL. It is quite rare for me to remember the many conference calls we have, but that one is quite vivid in my mind. He was interested in bringing our “Dialogue in the Dark” exhibition to KL for the first time and he shared with us that he was blind himself and working to empower people with disabilities. Quite a perfect fit, if we think of the ideal partner for our project!

We spoke for more than an hour with Stevens and Kaye, his life & business companion. Stevens was asking so many questions as if the exhibition would open the next day. A true visionary, this Mr. Chan, dealing with us as everything was already fixed.

When I read this memoire, I have found the same questioning attitude of the Stevens, the same depth!

I had the luck to meet and get to know both Stevens and Kaye better over these years, but I was not aware of the storms he went through. He is telling with disarming honesty the story of his life, which sounds like a drama if not for the light coming through the cracks of a broken man, moving from one tragedy to the other. Losing his mother, his job, his hopes, his dreams, his self-respect, his eye-sight, his health.But. There is a light even in blidness. A light called love, acceptance, adaptation, awareness melted up into a special dish called resilience.

And Stevens in his “kitchen” is not a lonely master chef. Beautiful characters appear in his story: his father, his master Mr. Soh, Dr. Fang and others, with Kaye always present, always smiling and caring (and this is how we know her). Not to mention the role of God…

What I really liked in this book are the sudden shifts that Stevens does, from talking about himself to addressing the readers and inviting them to think, to make the painful but healing exercise of reflecting about our own journey. How do we want to handle it and what do we want to leave behind?

Everyone needs resilience to face the challenges of life.
This books has a lot to tell and a lot to give.

Laura Gorni
Senior Partner
Dialogue Social Enterprise